Left Foot,Right Foot,Breathe

Its funny how you can view your life at times or the things you say to other people about your own life.Someone asked me during the week after reading my blogs and talking to me about them of how I go about my life nowadays.Well the answer is fairly simple and its what most people do everyday when they wake up in the morning and that’s Left Foot Right Foot Breathe.See not any great science involved or too much of a thought process just a simple few things that are repeated throughout my day.Its fair to say my life in recent months have changed,some might say in dramtic ways other may have noticed in subtle differences.In my case the changes were a must but for some people changing your life can be incredibly toughand a complicated thing to do especialy if like me you have tried and failed many times.But I was able to find away to change through time and also through inspiration of others.Im not better than anyone else ,im not more disaplinded,not more motivated I just learned a few basic pricinples about my life and have written more than a few times about them.

For me inspiration was always a key factor in my change.We all find inspiration in life from something,whether it is in anothers story,a film,a song or just the will of the human race.We walk amoung people everyday that oose inspiration or what some may call our “Heros”.That’s a word we hear all to often these days but what would you class is a Hero.I have to admit theres not many people in the public eye who I would actually look upto as a role model for me,thats not to say that I don’t regognise peope in the public eye that do good things,its just for me my Heros are a lot closer to home.Case in point I was out for a few beers last week with my Dad and as normal when we get together we talk about life,family and other things.My Dad to me is one of my Heros,now that’s not to say my Mum isn’t either I hold both of them in the same regard but my Dad and I have this connection and maybe cause that’s cause we are both males.I see an awfull lot of me in my Dad and knowing where he gets his stuff from which would be his Dad my Grandad is realy interesting to me.I enjoy the talks we have regarding our lives and the things we do and I can credit my upbringing to the way I have tried my best to raise my own son.Its funny cause I always make the comment to my Dad that im now of and age where I know that he was right all along but now that my own son thinks im wrong.It always gets a chuckle out of him that one.So as usual after talking with my Dad it made me wonder where other people get there insperations from and who are there Heros.Id love to be able to someones inspiration one day,not to be all big headed and have that look at me attitude but to know ive helped someone in any small way in there life.Most people will go through there lifes without any recognition and that to me is sad because we should all celebrate the good in life especially nowadays where there is so much wrong with the world.Maybe that’s why I have this passion to help people nowadays cause I want to change the way I live my life and to try and educate myself in the process.Having said that its important for me to be myself,like it it should be for everyone in life.Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. Just being yourself is a hard thing to do. You may do it sometimes. And other times you may forget or fall back into old thought patterns. Or you may imitate someone else.

And that comes through too. And it may work.

But I believe that being the real you will work better. Because there the genuine you is shining through. Without incongruency, mixed messages or perhaps a sort of phoniness. It’s you to 100%. It’s you with not only your words but you with your voice tonality and body language – which some say is over 90% of communication – on the same wavelength as your words. It’s you coming through on all channels of communication.

So I’m not saying: “yeah man, you should just be yourself because it’s the right thing to do etc.” I’m saying that I think being your authentic self – the one where you do little dividing, the one that needs little validation from others, the one where your ego is not running the show and trying to get something from someone – will give you better results and more satisfaction in your day to day life because you are in alignment with yourself. And because people really like genuine and people really like authenticity.I know im sure people get sick of hearing me bang on about what my goals are and to be honest that’s fair enough cause I do talk a lot about them but for me that’s what keeps them alive and makes them all that more real.Some of my goals for this year are already starting to bare some fruit and that’s great to see that hard work is paying off for me but in the same breath im mindfull of the possible pitfalls they may bring but that comes with trying to do things without limits.

Honourable Mention

I just wanted to add this bit on my blog as a mention to someone and something ive talked about for ages.As for those who read my blogs I have been struggling a lot with something that happened regarding someone I know and how unfairly I treated them in the past.I wanted so much to reach out to them and try my best to make amends to them but I was so scared of the reaction I kept putting it off.Well last week I finaly plucked up the courage and started some communication with them.The good news is that they extremely graciously accepted my apology and told me that they understood and that I should no longer fret over it.I don’t mind telling you that when they told me this I had a lump in my throat and my eyes filled up.Its realy hard for me to express to anyone how much this ment but it ment so much to me.Im glad I contacted them and although I wanted to say so much more I felt it only right not to try and bog them down with too many details but instead to sincerely say my apologies.I will always be thankfull to this person and I have no idea if they read my blogs or not but I thought it only right that they received a mention for being gracious enough towards me and bringing me peace in my mind.I know I wont fully allow myself forgivness over it or infact any of my past but knowing that they accepted me has went along way in my quest of putting to rest a few ghosts from the past.

So abit of a mixed bag of a blog this week but hopefully you will get something out of it and as always im open to any comments.One last thing though I spoke about a Mantra for me in a previous blog and that I couldn’t come up with one but now finnaly I have so here it is.

I will be  ferocious in pursuit of life but I will remember to be magnanimous in victory within my life.

Blog For Mental Health 2014

 pledge my commitment to the Blog For Mental Health 2014 Project.  I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others.  By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health.  I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.

Well ive only started blogging about Mental Health since last year.I have lived with Depression for over 15 years and its not until now I have come to terms with it and the world around it.I found blogging about it and sharing my experiances have gave me far more clarity and sent my life into positive areas.Please feel free to read all my blogs to find out about my journey and feel free to comment.I am very passionate about ending the stigma and raising awerness so much so it has now taken over my life and opend doors I never thought exsisted.So why don’t you join me in this journey and together we can join as one and lend out that helpful hand so many people need.
Ive always thought that you should never get caught telling someone who has a Mental Health issue or even any issue that its not a problem and to give yourself a shake.

There mind might well acknowledge the truth to your point but there soul will be powerless to accept it.

Considering the immensity of what they give to themselves, the immeasurability to what it offers in return.

Nothing ever feels as perfect as a moment of flawlessness in life.No bond is strong as one that compels them to seek answers to there questions. Not many people are this versed in the craft of being able to motivate. Not many pursuits can evoke such visions of normality.

This is why it hurts so much when the mind falls short of what the will desires.This is why it’s so unforgettable when absolute passion yields ultimate award.

While people watch from a distance, remember what was validated up close. Mental Health may in fact be just a condition. But it’s also who they are.”

An Uncommon Man

People often say that the things that happen to you in life either good or bad doesn’t give you character but it reveals your character.Ive blogged a lot about my life over the past 6 months and if you were to read my blogs in order im pretty sure you would see a change in what I write about and how I write it.Ive discovered many things about myself in that time and also of others in similar sittuations as I was in.To understand your own life sometimes you have to go to a place in your head where it isn’t exactly pleasant but im a beliver in that you can only truly learn about yourself if you do that.Once you understand yourself it then gives you more clarity into understanding others and the choices people make in life or how they handle there life no matter what is thrown there way.This blog is a slight ditractrion from my normal blogs as im going to attempt to relay a story of someone who ive never met,never spoke to and never heard of until this week when I came across a story online that stopped me in my tracks as I paused for more than just a thought.This is the story of a young man called Austin Hatch.

Austin is a young man who attends Loyola High School in Los Angeles,he plays on the school Basketball team and last week he scored his forst basket in over 3 years.Now that might not sound to dramatic but until you have heard his story judgment needs to be withheld.Austin is a survivor of two deadly plane crashes and  has practiced with Loyola since moving from Indiana to Los Angeles in August, but he hadn’t felt comfortable playing in a game until Wednesday night’s league opener.When he made that basket the whole bench was on the floor. The refs had no choice to call a tech for game interruption, but it was worth it. It was unbridled joy. There were parents weeping in the stands. It was an unbelievable moment.Such jubilation is typically reserved for game-winning buzzer beaters, but anyone familiar with Hatch’s comeback story surely understood Loyola’s heartfelt reaction.

Eight years after he and his dad walked away from a 2003 crash that killed his mother, 11-year-old sister and five-year-old brother, Hatch had to cope with another eerily similar tragedy. His dad was flying the family between its Indiana home and a Michigan summer house in June 2011 when the small, single-engine plane plummeted nose-first into a garage along a residential street north of Charlevoix Municipal Airport, killing Hatch’s father and stepmother and critically injuring him.

In addition to sustaining severe head trauma, a punctured lung, fractured ribs and a broken collarbone, Hatch also spent eight weeks in a coma as a result of the swelling in his brain. Doctors were still skeptical he’d ever play basketball again even after he emerged from the coma and gradually regained the ability to talk and walk.

Motivated by the goal of proving his doctors wrong and fulfilling his dream of fulfilling the commitment to Michigan he had made before the second crash, Hatch worked every day with returning to basketball in mind. Everything that was once routine for him became a milestone, from re-learning how to catch a ball or balance on one foot in the weeks after he left the hospital to practicing with his former high school team in Fort Wayne, Ind. in a limited capacity during the 2012-13 season.

Hatch could have played in his first game in Fort Wayne last February when doctors first cleared him to go full speed, but he vetoed the idea since he didn’t feel he had sufficient strength, speed or coordination to be worthy of playing time. told my therapists, my doctors and my coach, ‘I’m not going to be an asset to my team,'” Hatch said in a press conference in November. “I don’t want to be put in a game just because of who I am and what I’ve been through. If I’m not going to help the team win basketball games, I don’t deserve to be out there.”

Even after enrolling at Loyola in August after moving from Indiana to his uncle’s home in Pasadena, Hatch still didn’t want to rush his return to game action. He waited until Loyola’s league opener 14 games into the season before assuring Adams he was ready to make his debut.

The effort was worth it, judging by the response of Hatch’s teammates to his first basket.

In five months at Loyola, Hatch has had a profound impact on his new teammates and coaches.

They’ve celebrated with him when flashes of his former athleticism return during practice. They’ve helped him through tough days when his recovery plateaus or his mind isn’t as razor sharp. And they’ve gained perspective from him that there is stuff more important than basketball.

Pretty profound stuff I think you would agree.So after reading his story and then jumpng to follow him on Twitter my mind took over and started to think about my own Mortality and the way I live my life and the affects it has on others.I know people say that we should live our lives everyday as if it was our last but in reality it doesn’t work like that.We can definatly all try our best everyday but you certainly don’t want to think it will be your last.I have no idea how Austin could begin to overcome something like that and having never realy ever experienced anything remotely like that it is a hard concept for me.I talk alot about changing my life and moving forward with it but how an earth can anyone overcome something like that.No matter what you belive in wether it be religion,fate,circumstance it would test your faith to the limit.Is that why I take my life more seriously now,is that why I so badly want to make amends and why I want to embrace change because of the loss we can all easily have.I know I want as much time as I can get in this life but maybe its not upto me,maybe its already written for me and for all of us.Even if that’s not the case shouldn’t we all do our best to make a difference for good in peoples and our own lifes,shouldnt we grab every opportunity no matter how small or how big that life gives us.Those are questions I can only answer for myself.I know im more open to thoughts and ideas nowadays then I ever was and as the Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron says, “The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.”Change is SO hard because it feels like the new reality doesn’t quite fit. It’s like when you wear a new pair of shoes. For a while you get blisters and feel awful and you miss your old shoes, and then before long you get used to the new shoes and it feels like you’ve been wearing them all your life. Change is the same thing. It’s like it doesn’t fit, and you need to give yourself time to walk around in the new reality and get used to it. Whether its a new pair of shoes, a new baby, an empty nest, a lost love or a big move, change requires a little patience and a lot of perspective.I suppose that’s what life is all about realy but one thing I have came to discover about my life is that it  can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards.You are ALWAYS who and where you need to be in each moment, becoming exactly what the future demands of you. You don’t have to know the future and you don’t have to be the person who can already manage the future. Just manage now. You have all that you need for now. See your life and change from that hopeful perspective.If you look at your life as a whole, you can see the thread of growth and meaning through ALL of it. Then a general feeling of gratitude for who you have become can fill in the holes from the past.Don’t be thankful for hard times. Be real. Call them what they were, or are. Be grateful for who you’re becoming. Be grateful for the gift of being able to get back up when you’ve fallen down. Be grateful for your life as a whole, and stop judging it piece by piece.

Ok so im sorry if that blog was a bit deep but I just thought it was something I wanted to share.Normally I end my blog with a saying or a speech or a song I like but this blog will end will something from Austin himself,a simple statement and the inspiration of this blogs title.

Regular people do Regular things.

Decide to be UNCOMMON

Starting at the Finish Line

3 2 1 Happy New Year……” Ok 2014 now its my turn so here we go” were the words I said to myself as the clock struck midnight to enter the new year.A new year always brings it fair share of new optimisum for most people,a start to start a fresh or to try something new or to take a different direction in life.Im sure you have all muttered the immortal words “this year im going to…..”,yup I can see you nodding your head and to be truthfull I was exactly the same every year I said to myself I will be doing this.But as per usual it never happened just like most people resolutions.So what makes me and this year in particular so different.Well if you have read any of my previous blogs you will have noticed 2013 was in particlur a challenging year for myself,full of lows and then further lows but ended in a discovery of myself and the things I wanted out of life aswell as aspects of my life I wanted but also needed to change.Leaving 2013 I had come to terms with a lot about my past and had embraced the change I had brought into my present and future life.

So I have a plan of action for 2014.Ok some of the things I want to try and achieve this year might sound silly or ridiculous to some or maybe even down right impossible but if you look through history or infact anyone in life they have never made changes by thinking small.So that’s my plan to make my goals and its extremely important to state that these are goals and not resoloutions that I make them big,huge or granious if you will.They may be unreachable for me but I know by trying to attain them then its impossible to fail,and its important to state that failure is an option but like I say if you atleast try then the word failure doesn’t even have a seat at the table.

So the plans are as follows.

Firstly keep up with my college work,having already passed my first Counsellin/Physcoligy course I am already underway with the next level.This all going well will last up until July of this year and if sucsessfull I will attempt to do my HNC.Without sounding to bullish or big headed ive already applied for the HNC course and have a conditional exceptence providing I pass the current course im on.Realy getting my teeth into the whole learning aspect in my life again plus ive been privledged to meet a lot of realy nice people whilst back in a classroom environment.

My fitness was a big thing towards the end of last year so much so I wrote a blog about it and like I say in the blog Got Fight the saying healthy body means a healthy mind is so true.So I keep doing my Insanity classes aswell as the Ultimate Fitness Training and have recently (try not to laugh here) starting going to what is called by name as Bums Tums and Thighs but I can assure you its only called that by name because its the only class ive seen grown men cry and yes im one of them so when I talk about it I will call it Extreme Manly Marine Corp classes.Oh yeah I finnaly gotmy bike and have been loving it,out everyday on to and from work,pedal power is the way to go plus I must be reducing my carbon foot print so surley that’s all good.

I have a few other goals and ambitions for this year but ive not finalised them,these are the what you might call the crazy goals in which I will blog about at some point.So all in all 2014 is going to be my year or as I now refer to it as “THE GAME CHANGER”.Im sure there are plenty of people who arnt big fans of change but I for one am and cant wait to start doing all of these things.Some people having known me might be thinking that I have too much in my life at the moment and im taking my off myself and the problems ive had concerning my depression.Well I have to be honest I have done that in the past years cause it was good for me not to think too much or look into my own life as I had a fear of what I might find.So now having done that and faced upto what and who I was I can honestly say im glad im busy but its definatly not keeping me out of touch of me and my well being.I will always make time for me and for me to take the time to let my brain adapt and understand things a lot better.Ive shown what people will concive as my weekness and learnt from it, but I now know that to share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.

Too often, we build walls around ourselves in the midst of grief, pain, or challenges, inflating ourselves up to be proud people who don’t need anyone’s help, people who are getting by just fine, people who are strong enough to weather the storm on their own.

We close ourselves off to feeling anything in the name of self-preservation. We distance ourselves from emotions that by all means scare us because of how weak, vulnerable, incapable, or unable they may make us seem to our loved ones.

However, it’s only through allowing ourselves to embrace that weakness and it’s only through allowing ourselves to feel those daunting emotions that we invite love in to strengthen us.

Oh and what of the things from 2013 do I still have left to accomplish.Well to be honest theres not many,i did and have managed to sort a fair few negative point from my life that I so needed to do.There is however one thing I still need to attempt to do and ive been putting it off as I never realy had away of trying to make amends for this but more out of fear than anything else.A person I so desperately want to speak to and apoligies to for the way I treated them and handled our situation still haunts me and affects me to this day,now some might say if they new what I was talking about that I desrve to feel this way and honestly they are right but ive always though if there was a small chance of trying to explain myself then I would.So I think ive found away to possibly make the move to try and rectify this,it will probably take me a couple of weeks to attempt but as of this moment I will make this tiny attempt at some diolouge with this person and will gauge the reaction form there.Now don’t get me wrong im not just going to ramble on to this person and unload all my feelings onto them cause they don’t need me to do that but I will try with all sincerity to offer my Olive Branch and see if they respond in kind which I rely hope they do but im fully prepaired for them not to respond atall or to respond with a giant FO.If that infact does happen then I will except that and leave at that but like im always telling myself I have to try because if I don’t then not only have I failed myself I have failed them.

Ok so there go the first blog of 2014 and hopefully something for everyone.I was trying to come up this week with some kind of mantra for this year of what its hopefully going to be like but instead ive come up with a small passage of how I view myself today as I move forward in life so yes its me talking about me in fancy words again.

The best thing about bieng me began as a seceret as a question i first posed to myself many years ago as a mystery ive dedicated the last few months to solving.

The best thing about bieng me is the discovery of a realisation i want everyone to share ,which is a sensation of whatever life decides to put me through.

The best thing about bieng me is something that comes from a collection of connections which includes the first people who guided me through my life and the people who remain there to try and make me better.

The best thing about bieng me is a feeling ive rediscovered every thime i wake up in the morning which is an understanding of every turn the path of my life takes,which is a truth for the real life dreams that my life has become.

The best thing about bieng me is infact very simple

Its that bieng me is exactly what id ever hoped it would be